The Beginning

Life is indeed full of surprises and challenges.

It’s been two months since the touchdown and I can still remember the feeling of excitement and uncertainty on my way home. I admit, I cried a lot when I finally enter the Immigration, when I was waiting for the boarding and when I was in the plane. It was hard for me to leave Malaysia as I had learned to loved them. I learned how to love to eat spicy food, I learned how to love their culture, I learned how to appreciate and discover the country itself. It was indeed a very lovely place with very warm people.

It was a huge adjustment for me when I reached home. I still wake up early, thinking that I shouldn’t be late at work. My body longs for ‘gimik’ every friday because I was used to go down to KL every friday night. I miss the taste of Bahkuteh and Sup Tulang in a very cold weather in Genting.

I miss a lot of things.

But I’m still happy.

I’m happy because God gave me the chance to experience those precious moments. He gave me, out of His love, the experience that I will never forget and I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Yes, I was blessed with so much grace, but I have to sacrifice those things so that I can take the next step and answer the call of the One who gave all these blessings. People thought I was crazy. Giving up all the possesions I have is the best example of having an ‘out of this world’ mind… Maybe I was.

But I’m still happy.

I’m happy because God is calling me. Calling for a very different path and I’m sure not every one is being called in this kind of life. I choose to answer. I choose to give it a shot. I choose to apply in Arvisu and was accepted.

Arvisu House is the house for discernment. For people like me who seriously consider to enter a religious life are being nourished and guided so that we can discern about our life and to know our selves better.

It sounds incredibly good, almost perfect. But it’s not. Definitely not. It requires a lot of hardwork, adjustment, patience and openness. If you will ask me, how’s life so far? I would definitely say ‘It’s hard, but I’m happy’

Hard, because I’m still in the process of adjustment. If there’s any word that surpass ‘adjustment’, I will use that. Imagine a life, full of gimiks and laboy(s), who work with a very comfy office milieu and who earned a lot, will have a 360 degrees life turn. A life who has structured/ limited time, who studies in Ateneo and have no money.

Studying in Ateneo sounds fantastic to our ears but I believe it requires tremendous adjustment for me. Just imagine a guy who graduate from a low class college 7 years ago and who worked in a very relaxed company, studying 4 minor subjects who entails a lot of writing skills which I do not possess. Oh man, you should know how stupid I am in writing! I always crack jokes with my fellow Prenovices that I would love to solve math problems rather than writing a short essay discussing the creation of God from the first four books in the Old Testament. It’s so frustrating.

But I’m still happy.

I’m happy because in every frustrations I have, I became more closer to God. I cried most of my prayer time. I beg for help and support. I seek for comfort and consolation. And because of these, I drew closer to Him. He who never fails to give a hand when I’m in distress and He who never fails to hug me when I sob due to aggravation.

I am happy.

I am very happy.