Love, Trust and being Crazy

Note: Every Jesuit Prenovice is scheduled to give their Homilies. It was my schedule today and I want to share with you my homily this morning.

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Mark 3:20-21: “He came home. Again, the crowd gathered, making it impossible for them even to eat. When his relatives heard of this they set out to seize him, for they said, ‘He is out of his mind.’”

According to a biblical commentaries, this passage is all about love, trust  and being crazy.

At first, I didn’t get what the gospel wants to convey until I read the rest of the readings in Mark chapter 3. The gospel tells us that Jesus’ family at one time at least thought he was crazy or deranged. They came to him while he was surrounded by a crowd, hoping to take him away for his own good; as family, they want him to be protected. Jesus felt, in other words, the depth of disbelief by those closest to him by blood; he was misunderstood and thought to be ‘out of his mind’. And if we will read the gospel further, the scribes which happened to be at the same house even think that he was being possessed by Beelzebul and called him ‘the prince of demons who drives out demons.’

Through thorough reflection, I finally realized that this very short gospel reading today is full of meaning and is exactly the same thing that had happened to me as well. I know precisely how Jesus felt when his family thought he was crazy. Hearing the words ‘he is out of his mind’ from my own family and relatives is still ringing in my ears until today. I am also somewhat disappointed but later I understood that they only wanted me to have a better life, at least in their own opinion. Good thing they didn’t call me Beelzebul or the prince of demons and if they did, I don’t know what will gonna happen. ű

As an ordinary people, my family reacted when I quit my job and entered Arvisu. They were deeply troubled of my ‘radical’ decision. Come to think of it, I had a stable job, I managed to pay off our family debt, I managed to save money for my parent’s future and I brought them to other countries and I helped in renovating our house. If I continue to work in that company, my future will surely be clear. But now that I gave up my career and plan to choose to embrace the religious life, my family thought that their ‘Bunso’ has gone out of his mind.

It is the same as with my previous boss and colleagues. I was one of the most important people in our group and I technically know all the transactions and procedures in and out of our company. My salary was increased seven times in four years and it almost tripled the amount of my original salary. My boss also offered me promotion and told me that I could request whatever I want in order for me to stay. But still I gave up my career and plan to choose to embrace the religious life. My boss and my colleagues would have thought that Jorge was really out of his mind.

Traveling is one of my favorite things to do. When I was in Malaysia, me and my Chinese friends always roamed around the country. We ate a lot, we enjoyed taking pictures and we loved road trips and tried new and exciting things. We already visited some of the countries in Asia and if I didn’t resign, it is possible to visit other more countries. I would certainly love that! But I gave up that dream and plan to choose to embrace the religious life. My friends would have thought that Jorge was really out of his mind.

Like Jesus, hearing this from my own family and friends brings disbelief and disappointment. They are the ones who should understand because they are closest to me but then, I couldn’t blame them, I know they love me so much and they just want me to be protected as what they always do. They always pamper me and make sure that I’m enjoying and having the best in life. And because they love me so much, they are getting blind and they didn’t want to see me suffer and doing sacrifices. Nevertheless, I still pursue with my plan, and, like Jesus, I only want to follow the will of His Father. Jesus loves his Father so much that he is willing to serve his children in every possible way even if it needs to sacrifice himself. What a wonderful kind of love!

That is the love that I’m searching for. The love that can do unexpected yet marvelous things. The love that is willing to sacrifice, the love that is willing to suffer and serve. The love that makes me follow Christ and makes me ‘out of my mind’. I quit my job, I exchanged the pleasure of traveling and sacrifice my material things because I love God. I’m totally in love with God!

Of course, I couldn’t make these steps without trusting Him. I let Him be my source of strength and inspiration. I let Him control my life. I trusted Him when He asked me to ‘let go’ of these things around me.

And speaking of ‘letting go’, let me share with you a very nice story about trusting God and letting go. There was once a mountaineer who is dying to climb up the tallest mountain. He is zealous and full of pride. Eventhough it wasn’t a great time to climb up because of the bad weather, he still insists that he will go and nobody had stopped him even his friends. He climbed up alone and because of the bad weather, he couldn’t see anything until he slipped and fall down continuously. He tried to stop the speed by using his hands but he could only grab soft snow and feeble rocks. Soon he realized that he had his rope with a hook at the end. It was almost too late when he hit the hook on a solid rock and held himself tight on the rope. He was now clinging on the rope, hanging his body in the air and since it was very dark and cloudy, he couldn’t see anything. With all distress he cried out to God, ‘Help me, oh God! Help me!’ then there was a voice that came out from the clouds and said ‘Do you believe that I will save you?’, ‘Of course I believe!’ the mountaineer shouted. ‘Then let go of the rope’ God replied. ‘What? Are you out of your mind? Do you want me to let go of the rope, do you want me to die?’ the mountaineer answered irritably. Then the Lord said, ‘If you really trust me that I will save you, let go of the rope.’

The next day, the rescue team saw the mountaineer frozen, dead (of course!) and hanging ‘10 feet’ above the ground! If the mountaineer fully trusted the Lord, he could have just got a couple of scratches and bruises.

We find it funny but it happens in real life. We say that ‘we believe in God or we trust in God’ but the truth is during trials, we only trust ourselves and we try to solve our problems on our own until we fail.

I am here in Arvisu because I trusted God. I am here because I want Him to do His will and let Him do His masterpiece for my life. I fully trusted the Lord that when he asked me to ‘let go’ of the rope, and it may seems like I’m out of my mind but I still followed Him and I only fell on a 10 feet high and only got few scratches and bruises.

Jesus was disappointed and frustrated because even his own family thought that he was out of his mind but since he love and trusted his Father, he followed his Father’s will.

Like him, our family and friends also thought that we are out of our minds giving up our career and the opportunities that we have only to choose this kind of life. But still we decided to give up and here we are together in Arvisu trying to follow God’s will.

Although choosing to be here in Arvisu means getting or having some scratches and bruises, I have no regrets and I’m happy to say that I fully trust the Lord and I’m truly in love with Him and that what makes me ‘out of my mind.’

Amen.